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FAQ Laptops Cellphone Hats

Q. Why do you hate modern technology?

A. I don’t.

Q. Ummm, so why can’t I use my laptop in class?

A. Short answer: porn. Long answer- you are a distraction. And your use of the laptop- even if purely for notes – is not conducive to everyone else taking notes. Moreover, I draw, I caper, I, in short, do more than drone tirelessly. You will miss important stuff and reduce your chances of success.

Q. What about my phone? Why are you such a jerk about phones?

A. See above: distraction.

Q. But I might miss an important---

A. So? Seriously, You Are Not That Important. If you are an EMT on call, that’s one thing. But wanting to catch up on the latest Soooooo important gossip/SYTYCD/whatever is NOT why you are here.

Q. Why the hat thing?

A. There is not a single job in the world that requires a Bachelors degree and a hat. And, you are indoors – no hat necessary.

Q. But if I take it off my hair will---

A. That is your problem. If your hair is more important than learning, I invite you to examine the egress.

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